If Fate Had Been Different
by Nokoru
Summary: Kakyou story. Kakyou had been in his dreamscape beach again as he was thinking about Hokuto when two people came falling out of a vortex in his dream and rendered Kakyou speechless by their presence.
1. Default Chapter

If Fate Had Been Different  
  
Prologue  
  
I closed my eyes as the sea breeze caressed my face and whipped my hair lightly around me. It was the same here as always. Bright, beautiful and the only place I ever wanted to go to. Here, I found peace. I could allow myself to indulge in the thinking of you here. Just as I'll always be with you, in heart and in soul.  
  
They say reality and life is harsh but for me, there is not even a life. I live and pine away in my dreams; I hate myself at being unable to do anything for you, for myself. Why am I cursed with this existence? Why do I have to suffer all this? Sometimes, I wonder why I cannot be a normal person, normal enough to step outside to the sunshine, normal enough to find the one I truly loved. Would things be better if I had met you in another way? I wish it would.  
  
But just as he said, fate cannot be changed. I am cursed to be like this forever. My shattered heart bleeding until the end of time for you. For the image of you that remains in my mind, the hand you extended to me that I will never be able to touch again. Wait for me Hokuto.  
  
The end is near. Wait for me Hokuto. I will be there with you soon. Till then, please never leave me again.  
  
A seagull passed by near my head and gave a sharp caw. I stared out at the expense of bright blue sea that shimmered like sapphires and felt the soft fine sand beneath my feet. Picking myself up, I stood to take a slow stroll along the coast.  
  
As I came towards the area I had sat at the other time I met that other girl I could not save, my heart ached once again at my incompetence. I was about to head over there when I suddenly noticed a weird and unlikely foggy area between several large boulders. Urged by my curiosity, I moved my feet over near the now misty region in between those rocks as I peered at it.  
  
The mist seemed to be swirling languidly and I wondered if I was seeing things as it slowly looked as though it was fading to a black color.  
  
"Ah!"  
  
I cried out a little as something large came appearing out of the misty vortex and knocked right into me, landing on top of me and pinning me to the sand beneath.  
  
"Ouch!" the someone on top of me gasped aloud suddenly as whomever it was scrambled quickly to roll off of me and I coughed a little, completely winded.  
  
"Ka.Kakyou? But.how can that be? If you are here then."  
  
It couldn't be. I'm hallucinating. That's it, I must be thinking too much about her. My mind is toying with me again. Is it really.? I had shut my eyes, unwilling to open them and to realize I had been fooled again.  
  
This time, I felt another pair of feet that land in the sand just right in front of me. No! Stop being foolish, just open your eyes! I thought to myself when fear suddenly crawled up my spine.  
  
I forced my eyelids wide open and found myself staring right at the pair of legs, or rather, the yukata that was covering the legs. A feeling of superlative horror started numbing my brain as my head turned upwards to look at the two person involuntarily.  
  
I felt my jaw drop open slightly and my amber eyes widened as I gaped soundlessly back at the other two person who were in turn, gaping back at me.  
  
***  
  
A/N: I'm a serious Kakyou freak and I love X! I'm so happy when I bought the large X manga collection series yesterday (and at a 20% discount too!) that I decided to finally write this story that had been swimming in my mind for a while now. I love a lot of the other X characters too but I think that Kakyou is simply irresistible and there is just too little stories and sites dedicated to him, so I wanted to do a piece just for him! Please give me your feedback regarding this story and constructive criticisms are definitely welcomed!  
  
I.Nokoru. 


	2. I would Change Destiny For You

If Fate Had Been Different

In the previous:

I felt my jaw drop open slightly and my amber eyes widened as I gaped soundlessly back at the other two person who were in turn, gaping back at me. 

Chapter 1

In some corner of my mind, I wondered if my eyes had ever widened so much before, nor had I ever been so shocked in my entire life.

You came back…

Is it my eyes or some part of my mind that desired you so much that I conjured this just like the many countless times I see you in my dreamscape?

But… even if it was, then why would there be another…me?

***

At last, someone spoke up, breaking the awkward and tense silence. 

"Where are we? Is this your dreamscape? And if it is…which one of you is the real Kakyou?" Hokuto cried out, emerald eyes huge as she looked back and forth between the two of us.

I turned my tilted head up to look at my counterpart in disbelief, still too shocked to get up from my fall.

The gaze I met with was exactly the same as I was giving and I could see my own reflection in his eyes. Suddenly, he bent down without a word and gently heaved me up from the sand. I carelessly brushed off the fine sand stuck to my yukata without looking away from him, my heartbeat pounding faster as we continued our assessment of each other. 

"Where is this place to be exact?" my counterpart suddenly spoke up.

I hesitated for a while before I turned my amber eyes away and looked to where Hokuto was. She too, seemed eager to find out where they were.

"This place, this beach is part of my dreamscape," I lifted a hand to indicate to the vast expanse of clear blue sea and white sand.

"Then, how did we get here? I, I mean…all I did was to hold onto your hand and the next moment, I kind of dropped out of this weird misty black hole and well, landed on…you!" Hokuto exclaimed in her usual excited and anxious manner as she pointed to the other Kakyou, then to me. I felt my face warm up a little as I stared at the very person who had occupied my every single thought for years, standing there in the same clothing she wears, speaking in the same way she does. 

Embarrassed, I quickly shock my head a little to clear my mind. Then, I gazed back at the other person standing there oddly and I knew I had the confused look on my face as I could see that his mirrored mine to the last detail. This feels really…strange, to say the least.

"I was about to head there when I saw the misty black hole like you have described and before I could even make out what was going on, you two appeared," I offered as I pointed to the place between the rocks, trying to help as much as I could.

"Maybe we should get things clear first and lets see if the hole is still around anywhere," the other myself suggested softly.

I nodded for a lack of better response. As the three of us combed about the area for the mysteries 'hole', I could feel Hokuto's eyes as well as his, peering at me. This is really starting to get uncomfortable, not referring to Hokuto's presence of course. After another several minutes of uncertain silence, I decided to speak.

"Em, where are the both of you from then?" I said, after which I felt stupid for asking such a weird question. 

"Also Tokyo, which I presume you are from too?" my counterpart answered.

"Well, yes. Tokyo. But, which year is it there? I mean, how old are you?" I asked again as I puzzled over the fact that this Hokuto was still…alive.

"I'm sixteen, and Kakyou is…hmm, I never asked you for your age!" Hokuto spoke as she suddenly realized her ignorance of my age, or rather, my counterpart's current age.

"I'm 21," he replied after a while, seeming a little surprised as well that she would suddenly mention this.

"I'm 26 this year, so that means 5 years have passed and the year you are in is 1994 right?"

Both of them nodded, paying rapt attention to what I had just said, astonishment clear on their faces.

"Wow! You are from the future then! If that is so…what have been happening around here?" Hokuto exclaimed after the information of our age differences sank into her mind. My counterpart 's eyes appeared to become a little smaller and his face looked sad for a moment. It was almost as if he realized the absence of my world's Hokuto reflected in my sad gaze.

I found that I couldn't answer her…there wasn't anything I could say that wouldn't upset any of the two of them. 

"How is everybody? How's Subaru-kun and Sei-chan? How is myself? How's Tokyo?" she continued on in a thrilled voice.

I averted my eyes away from her lovely face and as I stared at my counterpart's face, I could see that he had probably already guessed, if not seen what was going to happen.

"Kakyou, what's wrong?" Hokuto questioned a little later when she sensed both of our discomforts. 

None of the two of us replied anything. 

"Is everything alright? Did something happen? No, don't tell me…it wasn't Subaru-kun?" Hokuto ventured timidly as her thoughts turned bad and she started thinking about the worst that could happen to her twin. She was still so ever protective of her brother.

"Ano, Kakyou," I started, feeling odd to hear myself call my own name. "Have you foreseen anything beyond the time you are living in with regards to this?" I tried to avoid Hokuto's question.

He shook his head lightly as he too, dodged her question about Subaru.

"Wait! You two haven't answered me yet!" she cried out, "What exactly happened?"

I gazed deeply into her verdant eyes, trying to decide if I should tell her the truth. She bit lightly on her lips as she stared back with anxious eyes and as heavy as my heart felt, I found that I couldn't deny my beautiful Hokuto anything at all. Even if it was the painful truth and the sadness that would follow. Neither could I repudiate the harsh reality from my counterpart.

"Soon, the one year bet that the Sakurazukamori made with your brother would come to an end and he would...""I bit my own lip as I swallowed down the curse I felt like uttering when I mentioned that evil man's name, that murderer who took away my Hokuto's life.

"He would what? What would Sei-chan do?" 

"He would decide to kill your brother," there was a cessation of sound that followed the announcement.

She seemed to freeze for a moment as the words sank in, I could almost see the gears in her head turning, thinking about all the things that had happened between her brother and that Sakurazukamori, that could lead to things the way they are now.

"WHAT?! NO! I…I won't let him! My Subaru-kun…How could he, I told him…I told him not to bring Subaru away…" Hokuto cried out again as her face immediately scrunched up into an extremely fearful and angry expression.

"Yes, you won't," I felt a hard lump constricting my throat as I couldn't utter another sound. My counterpart's face looked equally horrified as he sensed the following bad news.

I drew up another dreamscape, removing the beach as suddenly, sakura petals filled the area we stood in. 

The entire scene whereby Hokuto had gone to find the Sakurazukamori and in turn, laid her last spell, played out before our eyes and I heard a strangled sob emitting from my throat as the Sakurazukamori pierced his hand through Hokuto's heart. 

My counterpart gasped loudly and made a sudden movement as if to stop the scene while Hokuto-chan fell to the floor, knees weak.

I hastily replaced that nightmare of a scene back to the beach as the familiar feelings of those warm liquids slid down my cheeks. Somehow, the beach did not look as cheerful and bright as it did just a while ago.

Fate…

Destiny…

I was unable to defy this destiny I was born to suffer in, this burden of a 'gift' to see beyond what I wish. My entire existence only an illusion, a blind darkness where I had seen no hope and light until the day you entered my life. 

Could this be my chance? My only way to change things, let the outcome of the future be different, just like Kotori had seen before her final departure? Would I be allowed the beauty and honor of protecting my special one? To be selfish for this once? If this really is my only opportunity to change things and turn the wheels of fate, I will do it for you, Hokuto-chan.

For you and myself.

I would change this life of yours. Your life and his. 

Even if nothing would be different here, I still wish that somewhere, there would be a myself that would be just a little happier. To never be lost anymore.

Let fate be different just this once. 

***

A/N: Chapter 1 done! Please tell me what anyone thinks about it! I know some phrases sounds weird but I really couldn't see how I could go about changing them without modifying the meanings I want too much…Anyway, I hope to continue to do better for this fic so, any comments and constructive criticisms welcomed! ^_^ Oh well, I'd better go study for my test before I die when I see the paper tomorrow!

I.Nokoru


End file.
